Far too much, far too many, far too long
by Clouted Cankerblossom
Summary: 'You definitely didn't expect this. So you do what you always do in unfamiliar situations. You panic.'-/Sam, three-parter, set in series 11, episode Perfect Blue. Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

**_Part 1: Far too much blood_**

**Sam's perspective**

**_22_****_nd_****_ February 1997_**

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When they told you a nurse had collapsed in the corridors you don't know what you expected. You definitely didn't expect this. You don't think you've ever seen this much blood before and you've definitely never seen this much blood coming from one source, one human. So you do what you always do in unfamiliar situations. You panic. Charlie is far more composed, he barks at you, telling you to get help and you do just that. It seems like the whole department end up helping, all crowding around this one small body; Jude's body. As they wheel her down the corridor you've just been sprinting up you cling hold of her hand and give her a sad smile, looking her straight in the eye. You see a look there you don't think you've seen Jude express properly before. Fear. She mumbles something incomprehensible and she's obviously panicking; that's something you can see without words and you realise she might not make it. You realise she probably _won't _make it and it strikes you that she could be gone. Forever. You might not see her properly again.

You don't know where the next few minutes go but you're soon in resus and your strain is obviously beginning to show; you knock things over and fail to complete basic tasks you could usually do in my sleep. But you're not asleep, you're perfectly awake and everything is a nightmare. A real-life nightmare in which you don't have the comfort of knowing that at some point you'll wake up and realise what you just experienced was all just happening in your mind. Instead you have the horror of knowing that you'll go to sleep, wake up and everything will still be real, still be happening. You can barely see her now, everyone has crowded around and they're trying to work out just how much damage the stab wound has caused, trying to confirm what it's affected and in their minds trying to work out her chances of survival, which at the moment seem incredibly slim. They're obviously having great difficulty doing so and it doesn't surprise you because the blood must be impairing their vision in some way or another, there's no way Jude's injuries are going to be clear cut.

'Matt' you say to yourself suddenly, finally thinking of something you can do that may actually be of use, that may actually help. And so you announce to the rest of resus 'I'll call Matt, he'll want to know, he deserves to know' you state and even though you get no response because they're all so tied up in treating Jude you know they heard you and you know they agreed with you. 'Right' you say, rushing out. You hesitate, wondering for a moment whether to call on Jude's phone or the hospital phone and eventually decide on using the hospital phone. Thankfully, there's no-one at reception so you can do it yourself without any interference. You press the green call button and, with a trembling hand, tentatively lift the phone up to your ear. 'Hi, Matt, is that you?'

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**Notes: **_I was watching back old episodes and eventually got to the episode 'Perfect Blue' which is when this is set, in case you hadn't guessed. Sam and Jude are two of my favourite characters of all time so I thought 'why not write a fic that involves them both?' and here is the result. I don't own the main bulk of the storyline or any of the characters and please review, I'm sorry it's so short, maybe part two will be a little longer but reviews always make my day and I promise to return the favour._


	2. Chapter 2

**_Part 2: Far too many thoughts_**

**Sam's perspective**

**_25th February 1997_**

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She's going to be okay. Okay. A tiny word that holds so much meaning in this context means so much to me. Because for more than a fleeting moment Jude was far too close to death and I had far too many thoughts flying around my head at that time to be of any use. I watch her now, she's been put in a private room and Matt's sat next to her, their fingers entwined and they're having some sort of intense conversation. He set off as soon as you called him, as soon as he knew Jude had been hurt. You could see how much they loved each other and you wanted to feel like this. You watch them now, entirely contented in one another's company her head now resting against his shoulder and dark hair flooding over his shoulders, spilling down his back. You place your hand up to the window because, for some obscure reason, you want to run your fingers through that hair, feel your fingers weave through the tiny tangles, tiny imperfections.

You wonder what they'd think if they knew you were watching. Jude might think you were after Matt, that you were jealous. You _were _jealous but not in that way. You didn't want Matt for yourself, or Jude for that matter, but you did want what they had. Something solid, a relationship that would last, even when it seemed that everything was on the downhill. Not that you were a particularly romantic person or anything, you just liked couples and the idea of true love. You weren't entirely convinced it existed but it was a comforting thought. You watch as Jude begins to cry and you want to rush in and comfort her, hold her in the way you did when she was stabbed.

Your mind turns back to the events of the day leading up to the eventual stabbing. Everyone had seen Jude's patient, he was unstable, a heroin addict. She'd been the only one really prepared, really willing to deal with him. You immediately feel guilty and begin to think you could have prevented what had happened or it could have happened to you instead of Jude. You certainly feel like you'd deserve it far more than Jude, she never did anything but care. You didn't have a bad word to say about her but you were sure many people had plenty to say about you. You try to shake these thoughts out of your head, these little niggling feelings that seemed determined to flutter about your head and latch onto various parts of your brain.

Now you know you're being silly, you're making it sound as if the thoughts have personalities.

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**Notes: **I'm telling you, I love Jude and Sam to pieces, this is just making me miss them so much *sobs* I think I'll go and watch lots of old episodes! Thank you Gemma, (tatty ted) for reviewing, favouriting AND following and to hanflan for following. Hopefully the next update should be quicker but probably not much longer as I've chosen to keep these short, they're more of character overviews than a story (although the next part does contain a considerable amount of make-believe on my behalf)


	3. Chapter 3

**_Part 3: Far too long since last time_**

**20th February 2013**

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It's been so long, almost ten years to be precise, since they last saw one another. They still speak pretty regularly but when she found out he was coming to Crete on a holiday with his family he could've jumped for joy, as she put it over the phone _'It's been so long, we're going to have all sorts of catching up to do.' _She's been counting down the days for longer than she can remember; Matt's probably exhausted of hearing about all her plans for what they'll do with Sam when he's there and he's almost definitely had enough of her trying to tidy everything up, make it all perfect.

_'Really Jude, since when have either Sam or you been bothered in the slightest about making things tidy? I don't exactly remember him as a tidy freak.' _He exclaims to her. Their four children, who are sat around the dinner table laugh as Jude continues to spray and wipe and mop and finding the good cutlery and plates they only use when they get visitors, important visitors.

_'Well, you're probably still holding that grudge from when you and him had that stupid fight fifteen years ago.' _She teases, thrusting a tea towel into his hands. _'Now, do you think they'll like shepherd's pie? Should I check for allergies?' _she wonders out loud, ignoring the surrounding world as the date nears ever-closer.

The day finally arrives and Jude is now rushing around the house, shouting at the children to tidy their rooms. Matt loves her most when she's like this, flustered, panicked but happy and content. Her true nursing nature comes out as she tries to organise things but make sure everyone's okay at the same time. '_Alice, did you hand in your maths homework today? Emma, are you sure you want to wear that t-shirt with that skirt, no, it's fine, you wear them, I was just thinking this skirt might look better. No? Okay.' _He listens as she unsuccessfully tries to dissuade their middle daughter from wearing a dark orange skirt with a vibrant green-and-pink striped t-shirt.

The doorbell rings and she's there, at the door, shouting down the children, waiting for them all to arrive and Matt to get up from the sofa before answering the door. _'Sam!' _she squeals in a rather un-Jude-like manner '_it's so great to see you!' _she pounces on him, throwing her arms around his neck and clinging to him as though she'll never let go. She does, eventually, and introduces him to their children. {**Tall one, **eldest**- ****_Poppy. _****Small one, **youngest**- ****_Alice. _****Male one, **third oldest**- ****_Thomas_****. Ginger one,** second oldest- **_Emma_**.} He's got kids too; he and his partner Chris adopted two children {**Older, **male**-** **_Matthew_**. **Younger, **female**- ****_Sophie_**.} and the children hit off instantly and rush out to play some insane variant of the game tag which leaves the adults to catch up. After all, it's been far too long since last time they got to catch up.

But they don't really need to catch up, because they managed to keep up with one another. So much so, they can just pick up where they left off and it's as if they meet up every week. Jude's plans for the week are replaced with new ones, drawn up by everyone and the house is soon back to its messy state but Jude doesn't mind. None of them do. After all, _they aren't exactly tidy freaks are they?_

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**Notes- **I think I enjoyed writing this chapter best, it might have inspired to me to write a kind of happy multi-chapter piece about Matt and Jude and their life in Crete. Or something like that. I hope you liked it and please leave me a review to tell me what you thought!

**Butterfly x**


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